Ado Lyrics Deep Dive - “Shoka”
Last time, we dove into the lyrical labyrinth of 「心という名の不可解」 (The Mystery Called the Heart), tracing its raw emotional contours and poetic intricacies.
This week, we turn our attention to a different kind of ache—「初夏」 (Early Summer), a song Ado penned during her teenage years.
Written when she was just 15 or 16, these lyrics carry a tenderness that’s anything but naive. Beneath the gentle seasonal title lies a quiet sense of distance, memory, and the subtle unraveling of connection. It’s a snapshot of youth caught between longing and letting go—a moment in time suspended in early summer light.
Let’s step into that stillness, and see what lingers there.
Introduction: A Single Phrase That Shatters the Silence
The moment Ado’s track opens, we hear a voice repeating:
“Shinitai” (死にたい / shinitai / “I want to die”)
It’s a phrase that stops you in your tracks—direct, unfiltered, and heavy with meaning. Far from a simple bid for shock value, these words set the tone for an entire song that explores the collapse of optimism, the sting of betrayal, and the hollow feeling of being unheard. Remarkably, these lyrics are based on work Ado wrote when she was only 15 or 16 years old, making the rawness and insight all the more extraordinary.
Verse One: Where Hope Slips Away
In the first verse, “I want to die” appears repeatedly, driving home the point that every last bit of hope has vanished. Yet it’s not just about giving up on life. It’s about struggling to accept the transience of anything we hold dear. As the lyrics suggest:
“Katachi aru mono subete ni owari ga kuru”
(形あるものすべてに終わりが来る / katachi aru mono subete ni owari ga kuru / “Everything that has form eventually ends.”)
Ado captures a sense of resignation, as if from the start, life was rigged against her. There’s no sugarcoating this outlook—it’s bleak, and it comes from a place of feeling that any spark of meaning or reward has always been out of reach.
Pre-Chorus: A Bitter Smile Turned Inward
As we move into the pre-chorus, the mood shifts from despair to a biting self-critique. The lyrics scold the idea that self-harm could lead to any real relief:
“Kizutsukete, kizutsukete mukuwarou to shiteru no ka?”
(傷つけて、傷つけて 報われようとしているのか？ / kizutsukete, kizutsukete mukuwarou to shiteru no ka? / “Are you trying to be rewarded by hurting yourself?”)
There’s a sharp awareness here: the singer knows this logic is flawed, yet can’t fully escape it. Even more jarring is the sarcastic laugh in:
“Shiawase ni nareru…! Toka? (warai)”
(幸せになれる……！とか？笑 / shiawase ni nareru…! toka? (warai) / “You think you’ll be happy… or something? Ha!”)
It’s the sound of someone mocking their own longing for salvation before anyone else can. Rather than pity, it evokes a kind of frustrated fury—aimed both at the environment that offers no genuine solutions and at the singer’s own futile hopes.
Chorus: When Everything Cherished Gets Destroyed
The chorus clarifies why this level of despair has taken root:
“Suki datta kotoba” *(好きだった言葉 / suki datta kotoba / “The words I once loved”)
“Suki datta ano hito” *(好きだったあの人 / suki datta ano hito / “The person I once loved”)
The things and people that once provided solace are dismantled one by one. When they become “the wrong answer” in the singer’s eyes, everything crumbles—even a basic sense of self-worth. Ado sums it up with:
“Kono sekai no fuseikai”
(この世界の不正解 / kono sekai no fuseikai / “The wrong answer in this world”)
Then, with a burst of anger, she delivers:
“Nani mo shiranai sono kao ga kirai”
(何も知らないその顔が嫌い / nani mo shiranai sono kao ga kirai / “I hate that clueless face”)
This line hits hard, channeling the frustration of witnessing those around her dismiss or overlook the depth of her pain.
Second Verse: Locked Inside a Tiny Box-Garden
By the second verse, the singer has retreated into a private corner of her mind—like a miniature garden that’s sealed off and beginning to stagnate:
“Mizu tamaru hakoniwa”
(水溜る箱庭 / mizu tamaru hakoniwa / “A miniature garden where water has pooled”)
No outside voices intrude; the space remains suffocatingly isolated. Then comes a line that shocks by its bluntness:
“Kizuguchi o fusagu tame no ji’i”
(傷口を塞ぐための自慰 / kizuguchi o fusagu tame no ji’i / “Masturbation to close the wounds”)
It’s not just for shock—it’s a raw portrayal of futile, surface-level attempts to heal deep emotional scars. In these words, Ado forces us to confront the harsh reality of ineffective remedies that only serve to deepen self-loathing.
Bridge: The Unspoken Burden
At the bridge, the pent-up anguish bursts out as the “words I couldn’t say.” Here, forgotten promises and unmet expectations come crashing in. Even if certain wishes were granted, nothing seems to change in the mundane reality. This moment captures the crushing weight of old wounds, leaving the singer alone with memories of what might have been.
“Ienakatta kotoba”
(言えなかった言葉 / ienakatta kotoba / “The words I couldn’t say”)
Outro: A Hoarse Cry for Recognition
In the outro, a burning question is posed:
“Rinri ga dōri o tsukuru nara, kareta kono koe wa seigi nano?”
(倫理が道理を作るなら、嗄れたこの声は正義なの？ / rinri ga dōri o tsukuru nara, kareta kono koe wa seigi nano? / “If morality shapes what’s right, is this hoarse voice also right?”)
Stripped of abstract labels, this line speaks directly to a world that dismisses her raw emotions. The desperate calls of:
“Oshiete” / “Kotaete”
(教えて / 答えて / oshiete / kotaete / “Tell me” / “Answer me”)
resonate with anyone who has ever felt invisible, ignored by those who claim to know what’s best.
Final Chorus: Endless Cries into the Void
“Nanzenkai nanman nan’oku-kai datte sakendanda”
(何千回何万何億回だって叫んだんだ / nanzenkai nanman nan’oku-kai datte sakendanda / “I’ve screamed thousands, tens of thousands, even hundreds of millions of times”)
The final chorus is a powerful reminder of the repeated, unanswered cries for help. Despite countless outbursts, the isolation remains—a stark reflection of the real-life experience of having your pain met with indifference, whether by family, peers, or the wider world.
Conclusion: A Call to Listen
Ado’s lyrics, crafted when she was only 15 or 16, are a testament to the intense self-examination and courage it takes to voice such raw emotions. Each line is a carefully chosen word—a slice of a complex inner world where every emotion is felt deeply, and every attempt to reach out can feel like another rejection.
These lyrics force us to face uncomfortable truths: the pain of losing hope, the betrayal by those we once trusted, and the bitter isolation that follows. Yet, even amid all the despair, there’s a spark of defiance. The act of continuously speaking out—even when no one seems to listen—reminds us of the resilience that lies in honest self-expression.
In an era where polished production often masks raw feeling, Ado’s unvarnished words cut through the noise. They urge us to look closer at the people around us and to acknowledge the deep, often unspoken struggles that many endure. This song isn’t just a cry of teenage angst—it’s a heartfelt call for understanding and genuine connection.
In Ado’s world, every syllable is a battle cry. Her words remind us that sometimes the most powerful act is simply to keep speaking, even when the world falls silent.